Why I decided to live my best life from now on

 I have been suffering from Pneumonia for the past three days in the hospital, and I am so irritated even though these nurses here at Orlando Health are fucking Allstars.

I did initially think that the nurses here were a little questionable but I really do adore them so very much everyone has been kind to me.

I long to entertain family and friends at a nice Christmas party, new year's party, and new year's eve party or something like that.

Thinking back over my life I have never had time to stop and smell the roses in my life which really pisses me off.

So my first goal when I get out of the hospital is to start cooking more complex yet simple gourmet foods.

Also, I recently talked to my sister and we had a great conversation about me getting better and my healing from the inside.

I usually don't participate in the days of Christmas but I feel very differently this year and I would love to make a drastic change in my life so that I can improve.

I really love gourmet food, but Subway subs are some of my favorite and they are extremely delicious and these subs have stayed on my mind.

I really want to start back cooking again but I think that I lack the confidence and the patience to really get back into the cooking arena.

I want to live my best life I am just terrified to trust myself.

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